First Vocals

I got in the studio and recorded the title track "Green and Grey". I've always been a little sentimental about it, and while I want to say something else with the title (about how everybody around here is either green or grey) it hasn't turned out to be a song about Ketchikan. It's a song inspired by my friend Jill Jacob, who once remarked to me that time goes by so fast, it's already been 10 years since she moved up here to Ketchikan. Most of the rest is fiction. But I liked the idea of an enduring friendship and that it happened by accident of location. After all, isn't that where they all happen? And that strong bonds, feelings and identity can result even in an out of the way place like here, where there are so many different walks of life walking so close together.



"Though we rush ahead to save our time we are only what we feel." ~ On the Way Home, Buffalo Springfield


I found a real sweet spot for the mic, not too close and not too far. After a couple of false starts I realized I would have to write the song out if I were ever to remember where I was. You can only play it a few times before you have no sense of where you are in the song. The words hold it together, and you need them as a guide to lay the initial guitar track. So we had to stop while I wrote the song out. Then back to work, another false start, and it came out easily.





The Singing


While I love to sing I'll be the first to admit there are better singers than me. I can't stand the sound of my voice when I'm by myself, singing solo. It's like nails on the blackboard. I have to keep telling myself it's ok, I'm the only one that notices. I'm not, but when I look at my options I'm still the only person that knows these tunes and I guess I have to sing. I sang it twice and listened to both cuts, Carol patiently crocheting something the whole time. Didn't like either one. Not much of a shock there. Well, it's new and raw and I haven't heard it much before except when I've sang it, and you don't really hear it then anyway.

I decided to do a who-cares-it's-just-a-song take, and see what kind of a feel it had. More like hanging it all out, letting the spirit move me, don't think about the sound just think about the melody and words and give it some gusto. While I sang this way I had a sense of what I was trying to say instead of what I was saying and the song was growing, being born. I was putting the emotion in, injecting my feeling about the song not the meaning of the words. The third dimension - music, meaning, and feeling. Aaahh, expresion at its infant birth. It's a better recording of the song than I had before, more of an artistic, uncontrolled attempt. And it worked.


I played the song last night at the cafe, the last song of a nervous and bang-it-around set. When I arrived the crowd was not what I was expecting, and there in the front row were Darrel and his wife, rightwinger slam-the-dems people who I like, but avoid politics with. Once I was set up I could see they were with friends, people I didn't know, and that they were out on the town showing off their home to visitors. I didn't want to ruin it all for them, but I didn't have a plan B or second set to include all audiences. So, I couldn't say what I wanted to say, I couldn't play what I wanted to play, and I had to just wait and see what bubbled up out of me. As they say, my game was off. Fortunately for me, Terry was there and suggested some of my own pieces and that broke the ice.


Well, it was Friday the 13th after all and the first thing I did was break a string. But folks were patient. Turns out people like my own songs and they liked what I was playing even if I didn't feel comfortable and was nervous. So after about 30 minutes of hacking up some of my favorite songs I played Green and Grey and it was enthusiastically received. I need to get more experience playing in front of people I guess, develop more of a repertoire and get my knack back. Terry wanted to know if I had written that one. I feel like there's been a kind of accomplishment and it started right here with the Green and Grey song.


Now, on to the rest of them! Carol said Monday will work for her.